Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to go down to Mexico. A group of us go once a month and this was my second opportunity to join them. The ministry is called, "Love Fearlessly" which is something you have to be able to do because it is hard on your eyes and heart. If you know me at all, you will know that I have an irrational fear of Mexico so the name of the ministry means much to me. We visit three places in one short day: a drug rehab center for youths, an orphanage for kids who have lost their parents to HIV and most have HIV themselves, and a hospice for those with TB and HIV.
The day was going well, and God was surprising me with my ability to comprehend the Spanish that was being spoken. We end each trip at the hospice, and this time I was left in tears and heaviness. To say this trip wrecked me would be putting it lightly.
We were talking with one man when another began to cry out. We went to ask him if we could pray over him when someone informed us that the man was deaf and blind. My heart broke. He was crying out for help because he was in so much pain, but we couldn't even say that we heard him in his pain and were doing something about it. How incredibly lonely and isolating during a time when you need people the most. We laid hands on him and prayed over him. The tears were falling from my eyes and onto his small bed where his frail body lay. I knew he couldn't hear my voice, but I prayed that he would hear God's voice comforting him and letting him know how much he has been missed by his Father. I couldn't take my eyes off this man. It hit me in the moment what Jesus' ministry entailed when He was here on earth - he healed the death and blind. He didn't stop there, he healed their innermost parts they didn't even know needed healing.
The second man that broke my heart was whittled away to skin and bones with big eyes that spoke of pain and fear, such deep fear. It was then I became pretty angry, but I think the anger I was having was coming from my sadness. This isn't what God intended for His children. I don't believe this is what He had envisioned during those first days of creation. I know this man probably made some life choices that brought him to this place, but I know he was once just a boy who probably had life happen to him. In that moment, I realized it was for this pain that Jesus came and suffered. Jesus saw this man's pain and sin when He bled. It was for this man, He died willingly.
The next day at church, we talked about the significance of Palm Sunday. The Jews understood the prophecies that Jesus was fulfilling, and they knew Jesus was entering in declaring He was their Messiah. He was the Messiah they had been waiting for their whole lives. As they waved those palm branches, their hearts held expectations of the man on the donkey. He came bringing what they actually needed, and they missed Him because he didn't meet their expectations.
I don't always have the words to express how I am feeling, and this week I have gotten the chance to have several worship songs express what is in my heart.
Hear the sound of hearts returning to You, we turn to You
In Your Kingdom broken lives are made new, You make us new
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Presence all our fears are washed away, washed away
Hosanna, hosanna -You are the God Who saves us, worthy of all our praises
Hosanna, hosanna - Come have Your way among us
Who breaks the power of sin and darkness
Whose love is mighty and so much stronger
The King of Glory, the King above all kings
Who shakes the whole earth with holy thunder
And leaves us breathless in awe and wonder
The King of Glory, the King above all kings
Who brings our chaos back into order
Who makes the orphan a son and daughter
The King of Glory, the King of Glory
This is amazing grace
This is unfailing love
That You would take my place
That You would bear my cross
You lay down Your life
That I would be set free
Oh, Jesus, I sing for
All that You've done for me
Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
Worthy is the King who conquered the grave
Who has believed what he has heard from us?
And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
2 For he grew up before him like a young plant,
and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his wounds we are healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so he opened not his mouth.
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away;
and as for his generation, who considered
that he was cut off out of the land of the living,
stricken for the transgression of my people?
9 And they made his grave with the wicked
and with a rich man in his death,
although he had done no violence,
and there was no deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him;
he has put him to grief;when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied;
by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,
make many to be accounted righteous,
and he shall bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,
and he shall divide the spoil with the strong,
because he poured out his soul to death
and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet he bore the sin of many,
and makes intercession for the transgressors.